Once the contract landed in my inbox, things moved quickly. There’s a lot to do up front, and it was kind of frenetic for a wee bit. And I completely understand why the publisher needed all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed before they slot you in the schedule.
The publisher wanted a title change, but I knew the title I submitted was…not great even though I labored over it. Finding out they wanted a title change was not a surprise. The publisher made some nice suggestions, which was super helpful, and I picked from the list.
Anyway, I jumped on my work and got through it. I got stupidly stumped about my author bio. I suppose a lot of people freeze on this subject.
I was complaining about it to my mom (who might be more excited than I am), and this conversation happened.
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JJ: I need to write an author bio. It’s due by tomorrow.
JJ: I can’t think of anything I want to do less than write an author bio.
JJ: Oh wait. a book summary. I want to do that less.
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Mom: You live in a cozy apartment with one window that overlooks a mural of Fidel Castro and Charles De Gaulle. You write while drinking California Pinot Noir and eat Mike n Ike’s while watching reruns of Stargate Atlantis.
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JJ: OMG MOM!
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Mom: Hey, nobody believes that shit. One author put that she spends her spare time knitting cat balls for her Maine Coons. You could totally while away your time contemplating the mystery of what the fuck de Gaulle could find to talk to Castro about – besides military hats. The Mike n Ikes were just a bit of whimsey. And nobody in Oregon drinks California wine!
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JJ: Well, here’s what I went with…
JJ: JJ Morrison lives in the Pacific Northwest where she fights against the practice of wearing socks with sandals and ardently advocates for the Oxford comma. When she’s not writing or reading, she’s usually online playing games and wonders why she finds harvesting virtual corn so alluring.
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Mom: Yeah! I like that! Tho I wish you’d reconsider the mural!
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JJ: I’m not putting Castro in my bio!
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Mom: But it would so totally confused or confound people. As in “WTF-who is Charles de Gaulle?!”. Maybe even, “who is Fidel?” :thinking: :no_mouth:
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JJ: But they’d probably write me and ask for an explanation because people are weird and forget there’s Google.
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Mom: ::sends image of de Gaulle quote:: “You have to be fast on your feet and adaptive or else a strategy is useless.”
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JJ: That’s me. Fast on my feet.
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Mom: True dat! ::sends picture of Fidel Castro::
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JJ: OMG. No!
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Clearly I got through the trauma of doing an author bio and my book blurb. I’ve already been assigned to an editor. So wow! We’re moving along.
